Filmmaker, writer, and artist John Waters is celebrating his eightieth birthday with a wild comedy tour that will stop at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts of Miami-Dade County April 22, in conjunction with the Miami Film Festival. Waters has been shocking and delighting audiences since the 1960s with cult films like Multiple Maniacs, Female Trouble, Desperate Living, Hairspray, Serial Mom, and his avian-titled magnum opus Pink Flamingos. Here, a few satirical words from the “Baron of Bad Taste.”
Aventura: How does it feel to be the youngest 80-year-old ever?
Waters: You never possibly imagine that you will be 80 years old. But I plan to be 150, so I’m still a chicken. And I live near Johns Hopkins, one of the best universities in the world, so I don’t pray—I count on modern science. That’s my religion.
How will you be celebrating?
I’m going to Europe with a great friend and we’ll be visiting the ruins of the Marquis de Sade’s castle in the South of France. I hope they have a gift shop.
What do you like best—and least—about Miami?
Well, why does everyone wear gym clothes all the time? But what I like best is that it’s an extreme community. And though I hate hot weather, I would like to go in August, when all the real lunatics are there.
What are some highlights of your show?
I talk about fashion terrorism, Republican drag queens, how to be extreme, everything. I still do offensive humor, nothing good-taste-impaired. That said, I can’t stand the Left or the Right now! For the first time in my life I’m in the radical middle. Because the Left has no humor, they preach to everyone, and then the Right is woke now—they have trigger warnings! So, I’m just a crazy middle person.
Who makes up your perfect audience?
It can be any age but they have to be minorities of some kind—sexual, racial, politically, ones who don’t even get along with their own minority. Punks have always been my people, right from the beginning. I was never a hippie—I looked like one, but we made fun of hippies.
Since your event is part of the Miami Film Festival, what are some of your favorite recent films?
My favorite film last year was Eddington, but I also loved Sirat, the Spanish film. It Was Just an Accident was really good, too. But I also liked Final Destination Bloodlines. I like all kinds of movies if they go to extremes. What I hate is a feel-good movie, or anything where anyone says, “Awww….” That means I’ll hate it.
What’s the most recent thing that has shocked you?
I’m shocked every day, but not a good shock. I think drag queens should go to Melania like Rocky Horror and yell the lines back to the screen. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Is there anyone you’d still like to work with?
Aubrey Plaza, who was going to star in my next movie but nobody would give us the money. And I always say Meryl Streep, but she’s never called and said, “Let’s have tea.” The only celebrity I’ve never met is Eminem—I’ve been saying it for years and he still hasn’t called.
Any new projects you can tease?
I’m hosting Mosswood Meltdown with Iggy Pop this July. I have 19 Christmas shows. My screenplay books just came out, and I did the audio versions playing all the parts, which is truly schizophrenic. I have a product line with Seth Bogart, Wacky Wacko. We can’t keep the puke bags in stock.
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